Have You Faced Death?

Posted: October 12, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: leadership | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I had a client come in the other day. I’ve known her for a long time, years. She is in her mid-thirties and has little kids at home. I hadn’t seen her in a while because she had been to the doctor quite often recently. I knew she had some serious health problems, but she always seemed to communicate that it was under control. She had been diagnosed with cancer a year ago, and I saw how she was affected by the drugs and the treatment. Her hair was different this time, she told us that it had grown back enough that she could take off the wig.


So I was surprised when she told me that she was only given a month to live. The doctors told her that things had worsened and they could not do anything else for her.
I sat there in shock. What do you say to that?

My heart aches for her kids losing their mother so soon. I thought of my kids and family and how crazy and sad and terrible that would be for anyone.

This visit made me think hard about how I would live my life if I had one month to live.
What would I do?
Who would I spend my time with?
Or more importantly, what would I NOT do?
What would I leave out of my life?
Now, I’m not saying we need to live every day frantically trying to accomplish everything on our “bucket list.” But ask yourself what, or more likely who, should get more of your precious time.
If it’s so important to spend time with that person if you were dying, then why wait?
I know for myself, I have two groups of people to include, remembering that I still have to provide for my family.
1) The people I would spend my time with if I have the choice are my family, my wife, kids, parents and siblings.
2) The people I spend my precious time with at work or elsewhere: These people I can be selective about, to a point. I hired the people I work with, so it’s up to me to choose them. Not everyone has that luxury.
But you do have a choice to stay in your job or change jobs if that is appropriate. Also, who do you spend your off-time with? They can build you up and help you grow, or they can drag you down.
If your friends or coworkers are a drag on your life, you may need to set them free.
I wish the best for my client and her family in the coming weeks. I pray for her, and I pray that I can do the best I can with the time I am given on this earth.

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Have you ever faced death? Are you going to face it now? Are you going to look into the future and see your loved ones at your funeral? What are they saying?

A Hobbit’s Loyalty: Principles Over Friends

Posted: September 19, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: leadership, Literature | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

 

 

 

Recently in my business, I was asked to compromise my values to save a client some money. Of course, I couldn’t do that.

As much as I wanted to help her out,
and make her happy,
and as much as I dislike the third party involved, I would not compromise my principles for her friendship. I had made that decision long before she asked. My team all knew the answer, if they were asked, they would know what I would say as well.

After this experience, I was reminded of a book I first read in fourth grade.
You may have heard of the book The Hobbit, written 70 years ago by J.R.R. Tolkien. I remember being swept away by the imagination of the author, and it made such an impact that I went back to read it again.
The story I want to share is a short scene from the end:

Bilbo, the main character, and his friends reclaim a large treasure that had been stolen from them. But Bilbo finds himself in a difficult position with his friends and their king, Thorin. The king is searching for a very valuable gem, and Bilbo finds it. The king is also planning on going to go to war with his neighbors, because he is so enamored with the rest of the treasure and wants to protect it.

Bilbo risks his life, runs away from his friends and gives the neighbors the gem to prevent a war.
Thorin is angry, threatens him, and disavows his friendship with Bilbo, to whom he owed his life many times over.
Bilbo demonstrated courage and was true to his principles, even though he knew he would lose a friend.

When facing a difficult moral decision, I try to be like Bilbo,
by doing what is right: Even if it is not the most convenient.

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When have your principles been tried? Have you ever been forced to choose between a friend and your values?